Darkness Felt
by Phillip Callaway
Summary: An unappreciated Nazgul finds the last of the palentiri and takes it for his own. But then, suddenly, things get out of hand and he teams up with seven other misfits in an attempt to escape the domination of Sauron. Rated T for some disturbing mental images.
1. A Discovery

Book I: Darkness Felt

Chapter I: A Discovery

_A/N: Hi! *waves sheepishly* I'm Phillip Callaway, and this is my first serious fanfiction. I hope you guys enjoy it, because otherwise - *bursts into tears* - all my work will be wasted! So R&R!_

A screech erupted into the night. Another one answered it. In the corner of the forest, Khorvec sat silently in his saddle, listening. A moment later he felt a black figure riding towards him. He bowed his head in submission.

'The Master wants you in Mordor.'

The chilly command came to him on the evening breeze, and seemed to dart into his head without an invitation. He shivered and bowed again, then turned his horse's head to the east.

Khorvec was one of the nine Nazgul, and as the smallest of them all, it was rare that he was sent to Mordor. Generally, it was only if they couldn't get anyone else to go. He had owned one of the rings of power, but unlike the other Nazgul, he hadn't been very interested in it. He had just come of age when it was given him, and as an ambitious, fun-loving, young man, the thought of settling down and ruling middle earth hadn't been very appealing. Actually, he would have preferred to be an explorer. So when a ring of power was handed to him, he regarded it with more contempt than interest and only accepted it because he felt he had to. He was a pushover, and a small one at that, so he really hadn't had much choice. And then, after all, being a Nazgul wasn't all that bad. But he still wanted to explore middle earth for himself, and he hoped that someday he would. There were so many creatures he had never met before, like the Gollum-creature that he heard the other Nazgul talking about sometimes. And then, he had never seen a hobbit before-or a dwarf, and elves he had only seen from a distance. In his fancies he met all these creatures and discovered new ones.

His dream bubble burst as Minas Morgul loomed up in the green twilight and he sighed deeply as he crossed the glow-in-the-dark bridge. Although he spent most of his time there, the place gave him the creeps.

He made his way towards the stables and groomed his horse before leaving. He wasn't too eager to go. Sauron was an eye with a quick temper and an annoying knack for making up unpleasant errands. Besides, Khorvec always felt that he was being looked through and not at,¹ and that he was of no importance to the Master except to do what none of the other Nazgul would. The only things that offered happiness to him on these journeys were the dead marshes. The dead marshes were somehow comforting to him. They always seemed to be alive in a way-always moving and restless, as if waiting for something big and significant. And then, he found such interesting things there sometimes; Elvin blades that glowed blue when orcs were around, orc houses made of bones,² and once, a toy snake.³ He kept all the collectible things in a box in his room and sat there, sometimes, just imagining things about them.

Occasionally, when he had nothing better to do, he would ride there on his dragon and wander around, just picking up whatever took his fancy. It was seldom that he came home empty-handed.

The dead marshes were not actually on the way to Mordor, but by using the excuse that his dragon couldn't fly over the higher mountains, Khorvec generally got away with it. The Witch King, however, had insisted that he go straight to Mordor this trip, so Khorvec had saved that pleasure for the return journey.

The journey to Mordor didn't take long in fair weather, and Khorvec was soon at Barad-dur and trying to decide whether to take the elevator or the stairs. He decided to take the elevator as it might have something wrong with it and his interview with the Master would be cancelled. But, he was disappointed to find that it took him up with quicker speed than usual, and that he was standing on the top floor within a few minutes4. Then all of a sudden, he realized he had forgotten which door led to the Eye, and which one led to the Mouth. He had no idea whether they wanted him to knock or not, and anyways, he couldn't enter the Eye's room without a proper introduction by the Mouth. In a fit of desperation, he opened a random door and found himself staring into the Eye.

'Rah!' it said. He jumped backwards and slammed the door. Then, breathing heavily, he turned to the other door and opened it. At first, he could distinguish nothing in the darkness inside, but as his eyes adjusted he noticed a faint glow at the back of the room. The mouth was sitting at a desk-like table and laying cards out in neat lines, apparently finishing a game of solitaire. He looked up, smiling amiably.

'Welcome, Khorvec, son of nobody important,' he said, affably (he liked to give people inferiority complexes), 'Wait here, if you don't please,'

He stood up unceremoniously and walked to the door, patting Khorvec on the head as he passed. Khorvec suppressed a squeal of annoyance. The mouth always treated him like a child, and he wasn't all that small. Then again, the mouth couldn't care more about a little black shape than he could about a flea and wasn't expected to be sensitive of people's feelings. But whether the mouth cared about him or not, Khorvec was a Nazgul and determined to get the respect due him. He followed the mouth into the hall and cleared his throat.

'I demand an apology,' he squeaked, his voice sounding tame and unconvincing even as he spoke, 'I refuse to be treated like a child.'

'Too late,' said the mouth, with a laugh, and he passed through the other door. Almost immediately, he came back out and handed Khorvec a parchment.

'Give this to the Witch King. Now, be gone!'

Khorvec was gone. He had taken a step backwards and fallen down the stairs.

Khorvec stumbled out of the door of the tower and jumped onto the dragon's back. The fall hadn't hurt him, he had just dropped his cloak halfway down and when he reached the bottom he had had to go back up and get it. On his way up half a dozen orcs who weren't looking out for invisible Nazgul had run straight through him5.

But he was glad to be out of that place at last and the wind that blew on his face felt cool and refreshing. He sighed a deep sigh of contentment. So what if he was the smallest of all the Nazgul, so what if he got yelled at for bursting into Sauron's room. He was a black rider and nothing could hurt him. Besides, getting yelled at was an occupational hazard.

He sighed again and patted his dragon's neck.

'Sfog,' he announced (that was his dragon's name), 'We make for the dead marshes,'

Sfog grunted and turned northwest.

Within an hour, they were flying low over the swamps and Khorvec directed his steed to their usual landing place. It was humid and sultry in the bog, and in places it smelled like clothes that sat in the washer for too long. But Khorvec still liked the place. Here, at any rate, he was the most important thing living (or dead, for that matter). He climbed down from Sfog's back and tested the ground carefully-not that he was afraid of sinking, it was just that he hated to lose his cloak. It was the only thing that told anyone he was actually there.

But as soon as he had satisfied himself on the firmness of the ground, he began to explore, probing into the bushes and peering into pools. Half an hour later he had come up with nothing that seemed interesting and started to head back in disappointment. A few bones were scattered around, but he had millions of bones in his collection and these were nothing new. He went back over the list of things he had found. A stone with the words: 'i love u' scratched on it, some graffiti on a cave6, a Morgul blade, a piece of armour, and a helmet with ostrich feathers sticking out. Nothing new or interesting. Just the same old things. He kicked at a stone listlessly. His foot came back down on his cloak. Before he realized it, his other foot came down on the first. He tripped and fell headlong into a pool.

'Oh great,' he sputtered and he began to swim back to the top when something caught his eye. A mummied elf was laying on the bottom of the pool clutching a ball. It wasn't an ordinary ball. Khorvec could see that immediately. It was streaked with greenish lines and although the elf was covered in weeds and algae, this ball was absolutely clean. He made a grab at it but it wouldn't come free-he put a foot on the elf and tugged at the ball. Still it wouldn't come free, and the elves were creeping him out with their phantasmic gazes. Desperately, he put both feet on the elf's chest and pulled with all his might. Both of the elf's hands broke off at the wrists but the ball was his. He swam to the surface and sat staring at the thing. It was pretty. And he wasn't going to let anyone else take it from him. He decided that right off. But he thought he should keep it secret-in case anyone tried. He heard Sfog crashing through the underbrush and hurriedly wrapped the sphere in his still dripping cloak. For a reason he couldn't explain, he didn't want even his dragon to see it.

1: This was probably true as Nazgul never wore their cloaks in the Master's presence.

2 & 3: See Lord Of The Rings Lego Wii.

4: Barad-dur was so tall that even in a super fast elevator it took several minutes to get to the top.

5: Literally.

6: Probably left at some point by himself.


	2. A Friend

Chapter II: A Friend

A/N: Thanks to **hurricaneclaw **for following this story. To the rest of the visitors, shame on you! I mean, seriously! 27 views and not one review! Please, guys. The only reward we fanfic writers get for our hard work is our favourites, follows, and reviews. So pleeeeeeease review.

The next day, he was back-but this time he went nearly all the way on foot as Sfog was busy and he didn't trust anyone else. When he reached the pools, however, he merely sat down on the bank of one and stared at his ball. It was still a sickening greenish color and seemed as dead as the dead marshes, yet somehow alive at the same time. The streaks that curled across it's surface were moving, blending with each other, then becoming distinct, then blending again. Slowly, something was taking shape in the sphere. He stared intently at it. A white face was beginning to show itself through the green and he found himself looking into the eyes of a woman, about 4,000 years old. He rubbed his eyes but the phantom was still there. And she seemed to be distressed at the sight of him, for she began to mumble words in a ghastly, hypnotized tone. He recognised the words as Elvin, for he had learned the tongue as a man-but recollection failed him, and he could only guess that it was a type of spell. The elf, seeming to realize that the spell wasn't working, began to mutter something else and stare intently into his face. He felt a strange sort of sinking feeling, as if he was riding down a steep hill too fast, and he wondered vaguely if he was being hypnotized. His thoughts became muddled, and he slowly slipped off of the bank. He fell into the pool with a large splash and sank quickly to the bottom, but the cold water revived his brain and he began to swim back to the surface, wondering what had happened. And then he realized that he no longer had his ball in his hand. With a shriek, he started swimming about frantically, looking in vain for his beautiful, lovely, sweet, kind, precious, -and then he saw it, circled in a cloud of swirling dust. With a scream of triumph he dove after it and caught it up in his hands. Quickly, he swam to the surface and held it up in the glittering sunlight. It was then that he felt the orc, sitting on the bank and staring at him open-mouthed. Hurriedly, he pulled his hand down and wrapped the ball in his cloak.

'Wow!' said the orc, 'How did you do that!'

'Do what?' asked Khorvec, nervously. He hoped that the snaga hadn't noticed the ball.

'How do you fall into that place and come out alive?'

Khorvec gave a sigh of relief.

'No man can kill me,' he said and began to swim for shore.

'I know, but what about zombies?'

Khorvec sighed in exasperation. 'Actually,' he said, 'the real thing goes: "No man, woman, dwarf, hobbit, elf, wizard, orc, sorcerer, cave troll, fairy, vampire or zombie can kill me.¹"'

'Oh,' said the orc, not sure what to say, 'I guess it's good to be a Nazgul, then,'

Khorvec hesitated. 'Well,' he said, 'I think you should be glad you aren't,'

'Why?' asked the orc, more in defiance than curiosity.

'Just because,' retorted Khorvec, as he wrung the water out of his cloak. The orc looked surprised.

'Why didn't you cuff me?' he asked, in unaffected astonishment.

'Do you want me to?' asked Khorvec, sarcastically.

'Well, no...' said the orc, 'it's just that everybody does...so why didn't you?'

'I didn't think of it,' said Khorvec.

'You know,' said the orc, thoughtfully, 'You're kind of weird,' He paused, watching Khorvec tighten his belt.

'I think I like you.' said the orc, emphatically.

Khorvec looked up. Never in all his life had he been told that he was liked. He looked at the orc thoughtfully. It was small, smaller than him, but with a white hand stamped on his back.

'You aren't an Uruk-hai, are you?'

'I am,' said the orc, proudly.

'But you're so small,'

'I know,' said the orc.

'Then how did you get that hand on your back?'

The orc sighed. 'It's a long story. But to be brief, I snuck into Orthanc and got in line for face painting. Saruman wouldn't face paint me, though, because he said I was too small to be an Uruk-hai. And then, some pip squeak said I snuck in. I was scared so I tried to run away, but Saruman grabbed me. He forgot he had paint on his hand, though, and when he banished me, he pushed me down the stairs with it.'

Khorvec was feeling quite sorry for the fellow by now, and even though the orc's grammar wasn't the best (which was something he hated), he couldn't help but pity him.

'What's your name?' he asked.

'Beilchko, Ekilwa, Harschkt, Ikbarg, Perschin, Tepka, Gawlyi...' began the orc.

'All of them?' asked Khorvec.

'They kick me out everywhere I go and they all call me something different.'

'Who is they?'

'Everyone,'

'Well, why don't I call you-' he paused trying to think which name he would be able to pronounce best, 'um, Gawlyi.'

Gawlyi shrugged his shoulders. 'Doesn't matter to me.'

'Right,' said Khorvec, 'Come on!'

1: You can also find this list in The Witch King of Angmar by OneSizeFitsAll, except that he left out, like, half of it.


	3. The Plot Thickens

Chapter III: The Plot Thickens

A/N: Sorry if this chapter is a little too sentimental, I tried to make it real heart-warming. And yes, I'm finally getting to the plot. ;)

Gandalf sat on the top of Orthanc, impatiently waiting for the eagles to come and save him. But a strange ringing in his ears made him sigh in frustration. Galadriel always managed to pick the worst times for telepathic communication. Unfortunately, he had never figured out how to reject the call.

'I have looked in my mirror.' said a dazed voice. Gandalf winced. He hated stupidity-which was one reason he couldn't stand that fool of a Took who was always hanging around Frodo.¹ However, he swallowed and smiled sweetly.

'Oh.' he thought back.

'A black shadow looms in the dead marshes. It is rumored that not all of the palentiri are destroyed.'

'I told you that Saruman uses his palentir to connect with Sa-the dark lord.' He gave a shudder as he thought the words.

'It is not the dark lord.' (Giving a shiver) 'This shadow is characterized by great evil, but also much good. He is accompanied by one of small stature and great insignificance. There is danger in the combination.'

'There is danger in everything,' said Gandalf, though unperturbed by the fact. 'There can be no good without evil. My advice is to ignore it.'

'Athindil took his palentir with him into battle. He perished and fell in the dead marshes, unburied and cold.'

'And now he lies at the bottom of a pool, where none can reach him. No. There is nothing to worry about.'

'Your eyes are blinded. The fallen elves are bound by the power of that ball. They could be moved by it. He' (shuddering) 'could use it.'

'You said that the shadow was not-er, ahem, Him.'

'But the shadow is evil, and does not evil work together?'

'But how could anyone reach it?'

'The powers of evil are strong. We must destroy the palentir.'

'How will we find it?'

'Gollum is insusceptible to the powers of the undead. He will find it.'

'He will not obey us.'

'The halfling is of his own race. He will persuade him. And then, it must be destroyed.'

'But how?'

'There is but one way. The spiders of Mirkwood. I will alert Thranduil.'

Khorvec marched up to the gate of Minas Morgul and knocked boldly on the mithril panels. Gawlyi stood behind him nervously. He had had a fit of bashfulness since they had entered the mountains and didn't feel quite safe in this radioactively green castle. Khorvec smiled at him reassuringly but the orc didn't seem to derive any comfort from the gesture² and hid behind him in a miserable state of mind as the door swung ominously open.³ They passed in, Gawlyi shivering in terror and excitement, and Khorvec swinging along in easy confidence. They reached an arch where a regiment of full-grown uruk was standing and paused before the commander, a great, big goblin.

'Who's this?' he said, gruffly.

'A new recruit,' said Khorvec, 'I found him near here and have reason to believe that he has great talent.' Gawlyi looked at him in awe. To be able to tell a lie so easily was an amazing feat to him and he couldn't help but envy him the ability to do so. But the next moment the goblin addressed him with,

'All right, snaga,' and he laughed an ugly, mean laugh. 'Get in there,' and Gawlyi was cuffed and sent flying into the midst of the other orcs before he had time to protest against being thought of as a snaga.

Khorvec watched him depart and then turned with a sigh towards his own quarters. If orc life was the way he thought it was, then the poor guy wouldn't be very well off, but hey, he was better off than he had been and the Witch King wasn't allowing any of the orcs to be killed right now as he needed all the orcs he could get to fight Minas Tirith. Gawlyi would probably die in the battle anyway, but there wasn't anything he could do about that. Then, why had he told him he would help him? Khorvec brushed the thought away and opened the door to his room.

Seven of the Nazgul were sitting at the table in the dining hall enjoying their dinner. The Witch King was late getting back from Mordor and Khamul was still at Dol-Goldur, but other than that, they were all accounted for, and their meal was merry until the Nazgul sitting next to Khorvec turned and said to him,

'Give us a song Khorvec.'

Immediately the other black riders started pounding the table with their fists and chanting,

'A song, Khorvec, give us a song!'

'And a dance,'

'One of your dances, Khorvec!'

'Yes, Khorvec, a song and a dance!'

Khorvec blushed a bit, but he stood up and racked his brain for a song obligingly. Then he began to sing, his voice high and breathy, like a wisp of smoke about to fade away. He struck into a dance and the other Nazgul kept time, beating their forks upon the table top.

The family of Nazgul,

They are the strangest clan,

With hoods and cloaks concealing

An invisible man,

And some are in the Shire,

And some in Mordor too,

But the Witch King of Angmar

Is coming back for you.4

This was the black riders' favorite song. Although they had no idea who the witch king was coming back for, it was about themselves and that made it good. But Khorvec was a good singer(considering), and when he had done, they clamored for more. He stood up again and began a more cheerful song. As he sang, he began to dance-if it could be called that. It was more like a mixture of a waltz, gymnastics, and ninja moves. He leapt about, kicking and tumbling, jumping up and down and spinning until suddenly he ran reeling into the table, sending dishes, food and Nazgul flying everywhere.

Now it has been said that there is nothing a Nazgul loves more than his ring and his dinner. Although I don't believe the first is true, according to Khorvec, the second very well may be. All I know is that suddenly the other black riders picked themselves up and screamed in rage. Khorvec put his hand on the hilt of his sword, in case. Although he knew that pretty much nothing could kill him, he had never been quite sure about the other Nazgul. But before the fight actually started, the door opened and the Witch King strode in. There was immediate silence and each one stood still, listening for a command of some sort to come from the King. He spoke slowly, but louder than usual and he sniffed the air with distinctive authority.

'The Master has given me full charge of the attack on Minas Tirith,' he said, and sniffed again. 'Where's Khorvec?' The others pushed that personage forward and he bowed low before the King.

'We have heard nothing from Khamul. It is your job to go and investigate. You don't have to keep anything alive, just see if he's there and if he's all right. If he's not, come back and tell me. Don't try any heroics.' He turned and strode out of the room and the other Nazgul sighed in disgust. They would much rather go to Mirkwood than fight Minas Tirith, but they knew the only reason Khorvec was being sent was because he was too small to fight men. But Khorvec didn't care. For once he was lucky and got to do something everybody else wanted to do but couldn't. With a squeal of excitement he turned and hurried away to pack his belongings.

Khorvec tied his knapsack shut and pulled it onto the floor. He felt that he had forgotten something, but he couldn't think what. Oh well, he could always do without. He opened the door and made for the main courtyard, dragging his bag behind him. But it was heavy, and he had to rest several times before he got there. He did get there, though, and called to a passing Uruk to bring his horse. He sat down, panting heavily and again tried to think of what he was forgetting. He leaned against a pillar and suddenly remembered Gawlyi. He should say goodbye to the poor guy. He made for the orc courts and looked in, scanning the mass of bodies for a full minute before he distinguished the small orc curled in a corner. He walked over to it and put it on it's feet.

'I'm going to Dol-Goldur,' he said.

Gawlyi wiped his nose with the back of his hand and sniffed. 'Good luck,' he said. 'You're the best friend I've ever had.'

Khorvec shifted on his feet uncomfortably. Emotion always embarrassed him, but he felt it his duty to say goodbye to the poor orc, especially since he had got him into this awful place.

'Well,' he said, awkwardly, 'Goodbye,'

'Goodbye,' said Gawlyi.

A horse neighed in the courtyard and Khorvec turned to go, then quickly turned back,

'Doing anything tonight?' he asked, hurriedly.

'No...why?'

'You're coming with me!'

1: The views expressed here are not those of the narrator, but purely Gandalf's.

2: This was because the orc couldn't see his face. It has long been said that Nazgul smile beneath their hoods, but that only a true friend can see it.

3: It was said that the witch king didn't care who entered the castle as no one could harm him and he generally harmed them instead.

4: This song is a spoof off of The Orchis Fairy. You can find it on grooveshark along with an album called A Flower Fairy Alphabet. Warning: Intense flowery language. Some dumb lyrics. Not advisable to listen to more than two at a time. All were obviously written by an elf. Note: Another of my spoofs is on The Pansy Fairy. If you must listen to one, you should listen to these two so you can sing my versions.


	4. Does it matter?

Chapter IV: Oh, Horror-Elves

A/N: Yippee! Elves are so much fun to write. ;) But I need to rant. Only ONE review! With 106 views? Seriously! I am not updating again unless I get at least two reviews on this chapter. OK guys? Please. It's the only thing get for my effort.

For the hundredth time that week, Khorvec stopped his horse and hitched up the stirrups. Since the witch king didn't think it would be scary enough if he rode a pony, Khorvec always had to ride a small horse and tie the stirrups up high before going anywhere so his feet could reach them. But they were always slipping down all throughout his journey and it would take him twice as long to get anywhere with a horse than it did with a dragon. Gawlyi wasn't much better off. His pony was allergic to blood and unfortunately the Uruk-hai was covered with it. But they were in the southernmost part of Mirkwood at any rate and that meant they were more than halfway there.

Khorvec sniffed, but the trees were so musty that he could distinguish nothing.

'Gawlyi,' he hissed, 'What do your orc eyes see?'

'There's a pool ahead,' replied the orc, 'We should probably water our horses there.' They plodded on for a bit, then Khorvec was aware of a tingling sensation in his nose. He sniffed cautiously.

'What is it?' asked Gawlyi.

'Elf-flesh,' snorted Khorvec.

'Let's go back,'

Khorvec shook his head.

'No elf can kill me,' he said.

'I know,' whimpered Gawlyi, 'but what about me?'

'Don't worry,' said Khorvec, 'I'll take care of you.' He pulled out his Elvin/Black Speech dictionary and reviewed some basic words. Since most elves couldn't speak his language, at least, not without a shudder, he had been studying Elvin ever since he had left Minas Morgul. They continued cautiously, Khorvec muttering Elvin under his breath and Gawlyi trying to fix his hair in a way that looked less than becoming¹. He paused in his efforts suddenly and looked up. A high, feminine voice was floating through the trees and wafted towards them on the early morning breeze.

'What's she saying?' he asked nervously.

Khorvec had heard it too by now and began to translate for the orc. It wasn't difficult, for the elf was singing one of the songs on an album that had just come out. It was very popular in middle earth at that time and Khorvec knew every number by heart². Only the first word puzzled him, but he finally decided that it was a name and translated the song as follows:

Arithil, Haldir, Thranduil,

Celeborn, Elrond too.

How to choose the best of them,

Leaving out the rest of them,

That is hard to do,

That is hard to do.

Elrohir, Elladan, Erestor,

Gildor, and Glorfindel,

Though I wouldn't slight the rest,

Isn't Arithil quite the best,

Quite the best of elves,

Quite the best of elves.

The singer then repeated it all over again, only sometimes forgetting the words and using different names. Khorvec and Gawlyi dismounted and crept forward, until they came to a gap in the trees. An elf with dark hair was dancing about in a small clearing and pausing every now and then to look at her reflection in the pool. Gawlyi could hardly keep from squealing in surprise. The elves he knew were sober and silent, furrowing their brows at every little thing. He shuffled forward eagerly and a twig cracked beneath his foot. Quick as a flash, the elf changed direction in mid-air and did a backward somersault over the pool, landing on the far side. She looked somewhat shaken and cried out in a squeaky voice,

'Who dares to protrude upon Arithil, son of Athindil?'

'Son?' murmured Gawlyi.

'Vile dog, show thyself!' continued the elf.

Khorvec unsheathed his sword and bounded into the clearing.

'I am Khorvec, son of-' he paused, trying to think whose son he was, 'Son of somebody-or-other, and I defy you to call my friend a vile dog.'

'Who are you?' cried the elf in amazement.

'Khorvec, son of somebody-or-other,' repeated Khorvec.

'Yeah, but what are you?'

'I'm a Nazgul,'

'A what?'

'A Nazgul.'

'Aaaaaah!' screamed the elf, with a shudder, but just then she caught sight of Gawlyi and took courage. 'Ha!' she yelled and jumped forward waving two knives. But Khorvec jumped to meet her and parried the blow before Gawlyi's head got chopped off. The orc wisely ran to the protection of Khorvec's cloak, and Khorvec spun his blade menacingly.

'Eeeek,' yelled the elf in frustration and she stabbed at where she expected Khorvec's heart to be. The knife cut through his cloak and he shrieked in anger.

'Aww, man,' he screamed. 'You tore my best cloak!'

'You're not dead,' stated the elf and Khorvec realized that it was a boy, or rather, a he-elf.

'Thank you for summing that up,' snorted Khorvec viciously.

Then suddenly, a man pushed through the bushes and jumped towards them.

'What's all this, Arithil,' he asked, in an Australian accent, 'Captives for the Elvin-king?'

'I object!' cried Khorvec, 'He is our captive!'

'We'll see about that!' cried the man and he shot an arrow at him. But Khorvec dodged the arrow and struck at the man with his sword. The man fell backwards and yelled in anger.

'You are defeated!' cried Khorvec, triumphantly.

'I already tried to kill him, Barik,' said Arithil, in a sulky voice, 'But he won't die.'

'And since you can't take me prisoner, I and my trusty bodyguard shall take you prisoner,' said Khorvec, cheerfully, 'March!'

They marched. Arithil acted as guide, Khorvec as VIP, Gawlyi remained bodyguard, and Barik took the position of tag-along. In this way, they continued on their quest.

About midday, they stopped for luncheon, having skipped second breakfast on account of short rations. Arithil was complaining of the heat, and Gawlyi punched him in an effort to make him quiet. But when Arithil discovered that his head was bleeding from the blow, he freaked out.

'I'm bleeding!' he shrieked, 'Oh, horror, Oh calamity, Oh hapless, dreadful occurrence!'

Barik clicked his tongue unsympathetically.

'Dreadful uncomfortable thing, bleeding is,' he said, just as if it wasn't.

'And it'll leave a scar,' Arithil wailed. Gawlyi stared at him in genuine surprise.

'Scars are cool,' he said.

'I can see why you would think that,' retorted Arithil, 'seeing as you're covered in them, but we elves have a higher way of living.'

'Sure, you do,' said Gawlyi, 'cutting off orcs' heads is a higher way of living, right?'

'We rid Middle Earth of a plague!' shouted Arithil.

'I'd say elves were a plague,' muttered Barik.

'Some friend you are,' returned the elf.

Barik looked embarrassed. 'Whoever said we were friends?' he asked, glancing sideways at Khorvec and Gawlyi.

'Okay, break it up, boys,' ordered Gawlyi.

'Well then, partner in catching Nazguls,' continued Arithil, without paying the slightest attention to the orc.

Khorvec looked offended.

'It's Nazgul, plural,' he said, hotly.

'And Thranduil would have banished you if it hadn't of been for me,' said the elf, ignoring Khorvec's input.

'Be quiet,' said Gawlyi, cupping a hand to his ear.

'Well, I say, never trust an elf,' retorted Barik, without hearing Gawlyi's command.

'Sshhhhh,' hissed Gawlyi, urgently.

'It's not fair,' cried Arithil, 'Nobody cares about me!'

'SHUT UP!' yelled Gawlyi.

They all heard it, this time-the rustling of tree branches overhead and several high-pitched giggles.

'It's Legolas!' cried Arithil, triumphantly.

'Never mind,' said Barik, hurriedly, 'I take it all back,'

Arithil nodded and looked smug. A second later, ten elves holding bows fell out of the trees and surrounded them.

1: It was rumoured all over middle earth that elves were hair professionals. Orcs, in turn, were proud of their un-kemptness and often tried to show off to the elves.

2: The album's name was Ballads of Middle Earth and was second in popularity only to Trolololo by Saruman the White. The original version of this song started with Legolas' name and called him the best of elves. This was most often sung by fan girls, but occasionally some bold elves would substitute Lindir, Galadriel, or some other celebrated person. Presumably, this elf has substituted his/her own name. Note: This is the song based off of The Pansy Fairy, if you actually listened to it.


	5. I'm tired of naming the chapters

Chapter V: Saved-By A Bunch of Fans

A/N: Thank you guys for all the awesome reviews! You have made my life infinitely better. **ccgaylord: **Yes, it is very annoying. One of the reasons I like Nazgul so much is that they have such angsty lives. Even though they're kind of lame in FotR. **LiTori: **Thank you! Yes, I have seen DoS. *rolls eyes* I like Thranduil. He's a fun bad guy, both to watch and to write. And I'm so glad that pipe read the footnotes. :) **Lily Lindsey-Aubrey: ** Yes, I suppose it _is_ rathermorbid. :( I'll try to fix that in future chapters. And now, here's the preview for the next chapter. (Drumroll please?)

Aha! Thranduil and Mirkwood Spiders! I wrote this right after watching DoS. But I'm afraid that Thranduil isn't really in character. It would be nice if you could shoot me a PM and tell me what's wrong. Please?

'Drop your weapons,' cried a tall blond elf, 'or we shoot,'

Khorvec was on the point of disobeying, when he realized that Gawlyi was on the outside of their ring. Any arrows shot at them would fly through and strike the orc dead, so without a moment's hesitation he dropped his sword. Gawlyi did the same and the elves held conference over their heads.

'Arithil,' said one, 'what are you doing?'

'They won't die,' said Arithil, 'so I had to follow them,'

'Won't die?' asked another, pulling his bow taut, 'We'll see about that,'

'Stay your bow,' cried another elf with a crown in his hair, 'My father will wish to interrogate them. Dan, search them.'

An elf with brown hair stepped forward and began to methodically pull weapons from every crack and cranny. It was impossible to doubt that this was Elrond's son, Elladan. He looked so like his father that it would have been like mistaking that Gandalf was Saruman's son.

When Khorvec and Gawlyi had been de-weaponized, Elladan pulled all their weapons into a pile and took his place in the circle around them again.

'Legolas,' he said, to the one who had spoken of a father, 'Your father will kill them. Let us take them to my father.'

'No,' said Legolas, 'I found them, they're mine,'

'My father will not kill them,' insisted Elladan.

'If you're taking votes,' said Gawlyi, 'I'd rather go to his father,'

'For that matter, Thranduil will not kill them,' said Arithil, ignoring Gawlyi as always, 'I tell you they cannot be killed.'

'Well, that's nice to know,' said Gawlyi.

'You're sure?' asked Elladan of Arithil.

'Shut up, Gawlyi,' said Khorvec, impatiently.

'They should go to Elrond,' said Barik.

'Be quiet, dog,' said the tall blond one, 'You're advice means nothing to us,'

'Who says?' said Elladan, 'His advice means everything to me,'

'Thank you,' said Barik, appreciatively.

'Don't pay any attention to him,' said Legolas, 'We will take them to my father, he's closer.'

That decided it. Apparently the elves were tired and none objected. Khorvec attempted to say something, but he was cut short by Legolas, who, apparently, was in a bad mood.

Khorvec paced his cell, angrily. He had been there for several hours without so much as a glance from the guards who stood outside. It seemed as if they had forgotten he was there altogether. But a few minutes later, he heard footsteps rapping on the stairs and Arithil appeared. He took a bunch of keys from one of the guards and opened Khorvec's cell door.

'Come out of there,' he said, sharply, 'and don't try anything cause I've got an escort behind me.' Khorvec was only too happy to obey. He stepped out and Arithil unlocked Gawlyi's door.

'Now come on,' said Arithil, and he led the way upstairs. A guard smiled evilly as they walked past him and Khorvec noticed that Arithil was really quite short for an elf-which meant that Barik was short for a man, for he was the same size as Arithil. They passed into the sunlight briefly and the escort joined them, then they entered a great hall hollowed out of a tree. After what seemed like an hour, and just when Khorvec thought his legs would drop off¹, they mounted a platform with a throne and stood before a blond elf with a spiky crown. Legolas stood on one side of him, Elladan on the other. Arithil bowed to all of them, then stepped back into the escort. The one with the spiky crown spoke first.

'Who and what are you?'

Gawlyi opened his mouth to say something but Khorvec kicked him and began thus:

'I am Khorvec, one of the nine. This is my bodyguard, Gawlyi, an Uruk-hai.'

'What are you doing here?'

'We were brutally attacked and brought here,' said Khorvec, looking accusingly at Legolas and Elladan, 'How else do you account for the fact that we were locked up?'

The elf looked past him at Gawlyi.

'Elladan,' he said, 'bring me the orc's head.'

The dark elf advanced and pulled out a long knife, but Khorvec turned towards him and put up his fists in a defensive position.

'Touch him and I sock you,' said Khorvec. The elf looked confused.

'What's that supposed to mean?' he asked, so Khorvec punched him in the jaw.

'Why did you do that?' asked Legolas, looking pained. Khorvec turned back to the Elvin-king.

'I have an offer to make,' he said, ignoring the prince, 'You cannot harm me, and I can easily defend my friend from your fiendish devices. If you free us, however, and send with us a guide and a bowman, as neither I nor my friend can wield the weapon, we will happily leave your borders and bother you no more. But if you refuse, I fear I will be obliged to fight my way out.'

The King did not seem to take to the idea of freeing his prisoners, but suddenly his face brightened and with an evil chuckle, he turned to Elladan, who had just come to.

'Elladan,' he said, 'Fetch Barik,'

Barik was brought forward and he bowed low before the king.

'Barik,' said Thranduil, 'How long has it been since I sent you and Arithil out to find Nazgul?'

'A month, your highness,'

'Then your time is expired,'

'I found him,' said Barik, pointing at Khorvec.

'But you didn't bring him back, which means that you are banished from my halls forever. However, I will give you another chance. You may go with him, and he can do with you whatever he wants.' He turned back to Khorvec. 'He is an expert bowman, and will serve you well, if serving you well is possible. Arithil,'

That personage stepped forward.

'You are to accompany this person and guide him on his travels.'

'But...'

'Just do it!' and the travelers were escorted out of the room.

'Well,' said Gawlyi, 'I don't think that could have gone any worse. Now we're stuck with both of them.'

'I know,' said Khorvec, glumly, 'But I didn't see any other way to get out of it,'

'Will they return our weapons,' asked the orc.

'They'd better,' was all Khorvec would say.

'Are you sure we're not lost?' asked Gawlyi-again.

'Quite certain,' retorted Arithil, 'I've been here thousands of times,'

'But there's tons of spider webs everywhere,' protested Khorvec.

'There always are,' returned the elf, 'Now behind that bend we should come to the edge of the forest.'

They walked eagerly forward and rounded the bend.

'Well,' said Gawlyi, 'You were right about the forest ending.'

As far as the human eye could see, a sheer cliff went around the edge of the forest and dropped down to green pasture land.

'I could have sworn,' said Arithil.

'Of course you could have,' said Barik, contemptuously, 'the problem is, you never swear by the right star,'

'I should think Earendil is just as good as any other,'

'Well, apparently not, cause it never works. If I were you, I wouldn't swear at all. I think it tempts fate.'

'Well, let's just find the path,' said Khorvec, quickly. He was feeling a sort of trembling feeling in his pocket, where his ball was. Somehow, it seemed to be pleading,

'Please don't do this,'

He grasped it firmly and walked on, searching the ground for signs of the path. The others followed his example and they searched until suddenly Gawlyi said,

'What was that?'

'What was what?' asked Khorvec. He could feel the trembling growing stronger and he put his hand down to steady the ball.

'That noise,' said Gawlyi. They all listened intently. The wood had grown very quiet but something was moving in the shadows to the left. It was almost silent, but they could hear a faint clicking sound and another sound, like elastic being stretched out. And then they saw a giant spider moving towards them.

'It is the spiders of Mirkwood,' said Arithil.

'Er, obviously,' said Gawlyi.

'Run!' shouted Barik.

Khorvec felt as if his cloak was falling off, the vibrating was so strong. He looked up at the spider and gave a shriek, then ran blindly in the opposite direction, screaming all the time. He lost sight of his companions, but still ran on, tripping over roots and falling into ditches. He ran into a spider web and madly cut himself loose, leaving his knapsack behind. At length, he sank down to the ground from sheer exhaustion and lay still. He lay there for some time, panting and clutching his ball tightly. And then he felt it trembling again. Somehow he had out-distanced the spiders, but he was in danger of being found again. He clutched the ball against his chest and listened.

'You'll be fine,' he whispered to it, 'I've got you,' Then he almost shrieked out loud, for a large spider stood right over top of him. He scooted backwards and stood up with his back to a tree trunk, still grasping the ball. The spider advanced slowly, and stood looking at him, leering evilly. Khorvec was almost paralyzed with fear. His hands seemed glued to the ball that he held and when he tried to grope for his sword, he found he couldn't move. The spider opened his mouth and Khorvec screamed.

'Yeeeeeeeek!'

'Help, help, help,' screeched the spider, falling over from surprise, 'It's a killing-machine!' At this, half a dozen spiders rolled out of the brush and stood surrounding Khorvec.

'Wot's that thing 'e's got in 'is 'and,' asked one.

'It'sss sssshiny,' said another.

'And prettyyyy,' said another.

'And tasty, I'll be bound,' said the one who had found him.

'Do I get the thing wot carries it?' asked the first.

'Shut yer trap,' snapped the one who had been frightened, 'He's mine, I found him,'

'We all getsss a sssshare,' said the one who had spoken second(he appeared to be the leader), 'But I getss the ssshiny thing,'

The others didn't object, and he advanced, his fangs gleaming bright in the gloom. The ball was trembling stronger than ever, and Khorvec had difficulty holding onto it. He stuffed it into his pocket and held it firmly, but the spider still came towards him. Then suddenly, an arrow whistled over Khorvec's shoulder and struck the arachnid in the face. Khorvec turned around and Barik came soaring through the trees, shooting arrows left and right. Gawlyi wasn't far behind, wreaking death and destruction with a tree branch in lieu of a club, and Arithil came last, chopping off spider heads with several knives at once. The fight was quickly over and Barik turned to Khorvec.

'Come,' he said, 'There will be more,'

Arithil walked up to Khorvec and unceremoniously dropped a knapsack into the rider's hands.

'You lost this,' he informed him. Gawlyi rolled his eyes.

'Come on,' he said to Khorvec, 'We found the path,'

1: This was Thranduil's method of intimidating people.


	6. the sixth column of words in this tale

Chapter VI: An Addition To Their Party

A/N: Hey guys! Sorry that I haven't updated in a few days. Frankly, I was waiting for some more reviews. *glares meaningfully at readers* Still, I want to thank **The Chuckinator **and **LiTori** for favouriting this story, and** Girl of Twilight Wings **and **LiTori **for following it. And special, extra thanks to **LiTori ** for being the only reviewer of the last chapter. Here's my reply to her wonderful review.

**LiTori: **I'm glad that you like the spiders, I was afraid some people would find them annoying. :( Actually, that line is one of the many that my sisters and I heckle. We love to bash Legolas. :P I don't swear by stars. I kind of adopt Barik's method and leave it to God. He's never made a mistake yet, and I know he never will. :)

So...Tada! My next chapter.

The Witch King of Angmar bowed before the great eye.

'What is it my master,' he asked.

'Khorvec has found it,' replied the master.

'How can this be possible,' asked the witch king, 'he hasn't said anything to me about it,'

'Why should he,' said the other, 'You never told him that you wanted it,'

The Witch King hesitated. He hadn't told Khorvec anything about Operation Undead, but Khorvec should have told him all the same.

'Where is he,' asked the eye, 'I thought I told you to bring him here.'

'I, er, I sent him on a mission,'

'Where?'

'Dol-Goldur,'

The great eye turned and looked northeast.

'Why exactly are you going to Dol-Goldur, anyway,' asked Barik, when they stopped for third supper, 'that place always gives me the creeps.'

'It does me too,' admitted Khorvec, 'but I have to check up on a friend,'

'Another Nazgul?' asked Arithil. Khorvec nodded.

'What's his name?' asked Gawlyi.

'Khamul,' said Khorvec, 'I've always liked him best,'

Just then, they heard a chorus of squeaking.

'There is a fell sound in the air,' said Arithil.

'Thank you for letting us know,' returned Gawlyi, and he stood up, club in hand. The others stood up also, each with their weapon at the ready, listening. The squeaking continued and they realized that it was a nest of spider eggs that had just hatched. Barik drew his bow but Khorvec stopped him.

'Don't,' he said, 'They're cute.' The spiders scurried away and the travelers turned back to their dinner.

'Eeeek!' screamed Gawlyi. There was a spider slightly bigger than him eating his dinner. Arithil leapt at it with both of his knives but Khorvec blocked the way.

'Stay your blades,' he cried, 'He's mine,' Arithil sulkily returned his knives to their former position, and Khorvec gave the spider his own dinner.

'Hey,' said Barik, 'no feeding pets at the table.'

'We aren't at the table,' retorted Khorvec, 'so it doesn't count,'

'If you please,' added the spider in a squeaky voice, 'could I be counted as one of you, and not a pet? It's been so long since I've been around someone smaller than me,'

'Wait,' said Gawlyi, an apprehensive look on his face, 'You aren't small for a spider, are you?'

The spider sighed.

'I am.'

Barik groaned.

'We need to find someone who's big for his race,' he said, 'what are we going to do when we meet an enemy who is?'

'Well,' said Khorvec, 'this fellow is bigger than any of us, so that is helpful.'

'How do we know he won't eat us in our sleep?' asked Arithil, crossly.

'Oh, I'd never do that,' said the spider, 'I'm a vegetarian. Oh, and by the way, the name's Veagle, Unith Veagle.'

'You're a girl?' asked Gawlyi.

'What else would I be,' asked the spider, looking offended.

'A boy,' said Arithil.

'Let's just eat,' said Khorvec.

'Why were you banished,' asked Gawlyi of Barik as they were finishing up their meal. Barik sighed.

'It began a long time ago. My mother died, leaving me an orphan in the halls of Mirkwood. King Thranduil would have liked nothing better than to kick me out, right then and there, but lady Galadriel was there at the time and made him promise to take care of me. I grew up there, but because the king's opposition to me was so strong, the elves did not fear to treat me as a slave or beggar, and I lived miserably. Legolas was not as unkind to me as the others, but I believe mainly because of his friend, Elladan's example. Elladan was very kind to me. He did not have the cruelty characteristic of Mirkwood elves,' this with a meaningful glance at Arithil. 'But one day while serving in Thranduil's halls, I dared to insult the king and he locked me up meaning to banish me when he had time. Arithil here, a small and weak elf...'

'I am not weak,' protested Arithil.

'a small and weak elf,' repeated Barik, 'who was always getting picked on because of his size...'

'I'm no smaller than you,' said Arithil.

'Be quiet,' said Gawlyi, 'Drive on, Barik,'

'Decided to try to boost his importance in the king's army by using my arrow skills to help him catch a Nazgul. At this point, Thranduil had issued wanted posters for the black riders. So Arithil spoke to the king, gaining my freedom for a month to help him find these black creatures. When my time was up, he would banish me, unless of course, I found one.'

'We found one,' corrected Arithil.

Veagle yawned.

'Well,' she said, 'It's all Elvin to me. I think we should go to sleep now. Are you guys going to pitch camp? If so, where can I spin myself a web?'

'We should pitch camp here,' said Barik, who had practically taken over the quest.

'No,' said Khorvec, shaking his head, 'I want to make Dol-Goldur by morning. We won't stop anywhere tonight.'

'We won't be able to,' said Arithil, displaying his knives, 'My blades are glowing blue, there is an orc pack nearby.'

'I smell them too,' said Veagle.

'Him,' said Barik, pointing at Gawlyi.

'No,' said Arithil, 'they are glowing neon blue which means it's a pack.'

'Orcs aren't measured in packs,' said Gawlyi, 'They're measured in cohorts,'

'Cause they're no good at anything but fighting,' taunted Arithil.

'That's not true!' shouted Gawlyi, 'I knew an orc once who made excellent pizza!'

'Shut up, bloody louse,' returned Arithil, 'Do not think I will not kill you,'

'You won't,' said Khorvec.

'I'm not a bloody louse,' shouted Gawlyi, 'Khorvec, tell him so,'

'Be quiet, you petty creatures,' said Barik, 'Listen,'

Sounds were coming from the edge of the wood, mainly screams and squeals, but some shouts too.

'Orcs,' stated Arithil. Gawlyi rolled his eyes, as always.

'Run,' said Barik.

'Oh, dear,' said Veagle, 'I hate orcs.'

'No orc can kill me,' said Khorvec, 'I'll stay here and head them off. You guys go on. I'll catch up later.'

'Not if I can help it,' said Gawlyi, 'It's my duty to take care of you,'

'We can hide,' suggested Arithil, helpfully.

'What kind of an elf are you,' said Barik, 'to hide from the face of danger,'

'A wise one,' retorted Arithil.

'I've got an idea,' said Unith, 'I can spin webs to catch them in,'

'Oh, please don't,' pleaded Gawlyi, 'I could never bear to see so many of my fellows killed,'

'Could you bear to see us killed?' asked Barik, in a threatening tone.

'Looks like we've only got one choice,' said Arithil, smugly, 'Climb into the trees everyone,'

'They're too tall,' protested Khorvec.

'Stand on my back,' said Veagle.

'Then how will you get up?'

'I'm good at climbing trees,' said Veagle, and she hoisted Gawlyi to the lowest branch.

'Keep climbing,' she called, 'Just make sure they won't be able to see you.'

She helped the rest up, then climbed up herself. They sat in suspense for several minutes and the orcs began to pass beneath.

Duh, duh, duh, duh... What will happen? Will Khorvec and his friends get caught? Now you better review our I won't post the next chapter, even though I have it and all the chapters up to number fifteen written out and finished.

Question: Who do you prefer, Rohanians or Gondorians? Tell me in a review and God bless you all!


	7. Chapter titles are boring

Chapter VII: A Warning

A/N: Thank you to **NazgulForLife** for favouriting and following this story. It's nice to find another Nazgul fan. Even though they are kind of lame in the first movie. **LiTori:** In the dictatorial society of Mordor, you were expected to report anything unusual. Which is why the Witch King was surprised when Khorvec didn't report the palentir. Well, yeah. I started this story, like, last May. You like Rohan? Yay! **Lily Lindir-Aubrey: ** You guys are awesome! Rohan RUUULLLLESSS! They're so much more epic than Gondor. The only Gondorian I like dies in the first movie, so they're ruined for me. Thanks, everybody for your support. You don't know how encouraging your feedback is. And so, I present...the next chapter.

The orcs thundered beneath them and Veagle rolled herself into a trembling ball.

'Tell me when they're gone,' she begged.

'They are on a raid,' Arithil informed them. Gawlyi rolled his eyes again.

'Nobody asked you,' he said.

'Why can't you two stop fighting for five minutes together?' asked Barik, raising his eyebrows, 'You people are so petty.'

'I'm not,' said Gawlyi.

Khorvec left the others to their quarreling and felt in his pocket for his ball. It was still there and seemed to be safe. He looked at Unith. She was sitting on the next branch down with her legs wrapped around her ears. Why wasn't his ball trembling? Could it be that it was used to her, or that it could sense she meant it no harm? He didn't know, and he didn't really care. At least it probably meant she wasn't dangerous. He lay down on the branch and let his thoughts ramble. He could barely wait to see his friend, Khamul. They had always been friends, and Khamul wasn't as boring as the other Nazgul. He had been all over middle earth and had millions of stories to tell about the people and the places. It was from him that Khorvec had heard of dwarves, and hobbits, and burglars, and dragons. He had been at the great battle between good and evil and had seen Sauron defeated. He had met Isildur in battle and had felt the blade of that villain's sword. He had known Rivendell as it was before the days of evil, and had visited Lothlorien when Galadriel was a child. He was ancient, wise and kind. Everything a friend could possibly be. But they had never been really close. Khamul was not that sort of person. He gloated over the day when he would be greatest of all, he hungered and thirsted after leadership. Khorvec wasn't like that. Khorvec hated leadership. It meant you had to make decisions. It meant you were blamed if you're campaign failed. It meant you had to say yes or no, there wasn't a maybe. It meant you had to believe everything your side told you to believe. It meant that everything you did was looked at by the world and judged to be wrong. You couldn't please anyone and everyone knew it. You were a leader and yet a slave to your followers. If you displeased them, you were no longer a leader. You never stayed a leader. If you were a dictator, someone came and defeated you. If you were a king, your own people came and cut off your head. But if you were a follower, it was your own fault if you became a leader. It was a much more reliable position to follow. Khorvec knew this, and was careful to stay a follower. He blamed most of his present life on the fact that he was a pushover, but it had it's advantages. It meant he would never be a leader. He would always step aside for someone else.

The orcs that had been thundering beneath him were suddenly gone and Unith woke up with a start.

'They've passed,' stated Arithil. Gawlyi rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time and growled in frustration. They were about to descend from the tree when they heard a snort and a squeal and beheld another small orc running beneath the tree. They were waiting for him to pass when suddenly Gawlyi crashed through the branches and landed in front of the snaga.

'Yikes,' squealed the snaga.

'Cherby,' said Gawlyi, 'Is that you?'

'Ikbarg,' squeaked the orc, 'What are you doing here?' He didn't sound exactly pleased. The others descended the tree and surrounded him curiously.

'Um, Gawlyi,' said Khorvec, 'You know this person?'

'We fought in Mordor together,' said Gawlyi, 'This is Cherbok, he's the one who made delicious pizza.'

'Well, you're not getting any, Ikbarg,' said the orc.

'Oh, be quiet,' said Gawlyi, 'It's Gawlyi, and now I can boss you around because these guys are my friends and they're bigger than you are,'

'Oh, come on,' said Barik, beating his forehead, 'Not another small person!'

Cherbok looked offended.

'I'm no smaller than Gawlyi,' he protested, angrily.

'There, there,' said Veagle, suddenly losing her fear of orcs, 'I understand perfectly, and I love pizza,'

'I thought you were a vegetarian,' cried Arithil.

'I only eat cheese pizza,' returned the spider.

'Do you even know what pizza is?' asked Khorvec.

'Of course,' said Unith, 'Don't you think I've been educated?'

'Sorry,' said Arithil, 'But I've never come across an educated spider. That would be creepy.'

'Well, you've come across one now,' retorted Unith, 'and I'm not creepy.'

'That's debatable,' muttered Arithil.

'Let's just get going,' said Khorvec, and he struck off down the path.

'Who's ready for a midnight snack,' called Cherby from the back of the group.

'We already had third supper,' said Khorvec, 'We can't stop, we have to keep going. Those orcs might come back.'

'Who cares if they come back,' said Gawlyi, 'Cherby here can get them to let us go,'

'I wouldn't count on it,' said Cherbok, doubtfully.

'For my part,' said Veagle, 'I don't care. I can always climb a tree if they come back while we're eating, yet I'm not hungry, for I need only eat once a day.'

'We are not interested in your digestive habits,' said Arithil.

'Come on,' said Khorvec, 'We're only a little ways from Dol-Goldur. When we get there, we can stop and have some of your famous pizza, Cherbok.'

That settled it. The others trudged on without complaint and they drew ever closer to Dol-Goldur.

It was nearly midnight when they came in sight of the ruins, and Khorvec breathed a sigh of relief. Although he was a Nazgul, that didn't prevent him from feeling the effects of weariness, and his legs were extremely tired. He hoisted his knapsack farther up on his back and walked on, fighting to keep his eyes open. But no matter how hard he tried, his eyes would not stay on the path and he drifted into sleep. And then suddenly he found himself staring into the great eye, or rather, he was staring into his ball, and the eye was in the ball. The eye was focused on him and he felt the same sinking feeling he had felt in the dead marshes. He shook his head and clutched his ball against him, avoiding the deep, penetrating gaze of that one-eyed sorcerer. But it was speaking to him, whispering in a cold, even voice, a voice that, again, seemed to dart into his head without an invitation.

'I see you,' it said. Khorvec shook his head again, attempting to clear it of the ringing that shook his temples.

He barely had enough strength to reply,

'Er, obviously, as Gawlyi would say,'

The eye smiled. That is, Khorvec didn't actually see it smile, but he felt it smile and nearly fainted in horror.

'You are strong, my insignificant minion,' said the eye, 'but you cannot withstand darkness. It will rule you, killing you slowly.' The eye seemed to derive great enjoyment from this fact, and smiled again.

'It will not kill me before it kills you,' shrieked Khorvec, trembling from fright, 'For you are more full of it,'

'Aaaahhhhh.' The eye drew out the word as if attempting to add more syllables than it really had, 'That is why it will not kill me. You fight it and waste your strength. I embrace it and strengthen what strength I already have.'

'Obviously,' began Khorvec, 'You need to extend your vocabulary,'

The eye laughed. It was an extremely disturbing laugh, like someone trying to laugh, yet not knowing how.

'You are bad at arguments,' it said.

'No,' said Khorvec, 'I'm good at arguments, because I argue for good,'

'Your arguments are riddled with fallacies,'

'So what,' said Khorvec, 'According to you, all I'm trying to do is withstand evil.'

The eye was beginning to lose his good humour.

'I can punish you,'

'No you can't,' returned Khorvec, encouraged by the eye's evident surrender, 'No sorcerer can kill me, and you're the one who made that up.'

'What about Nazgul?'

'Thanks for letting me know,' said Khorvec, 'I'll stay away from them from now on,'

The eye was quite out of temper now. It began to expand, filling the ball with it's pupil. Khorvec stared into it, mesmerized. Suddenly he saw himself, being bound by darkness instead of chains, and dragged away.

'Nooooooo,' he screamed and woke up. The ball was still in his pocket, and he was still trudging right behind Barik. Nothing had changed except...

He looked up. There was an opening in the tree branches and through it he could see the top of Barad-dur and on top of it, the eye. It was staring straight at him and he caught faintly on the breeze,

'I see you.'

He shivered. It was a warning he must heed.

There you go! Hope you enjoyed it. But I may not get a new chapter up in a while.

Anyhow, here's the question of the day. If you were chosen to act someone in LotR or Hobbit, regardless of age, looks, or gender, who would you want to be?

That's it. Please review and tell me what you think!


	8. Meet Gergus, a cave troll

Chapter VIII: A Tragedy

A/N: I'm back! Thanks so much, guys for your awesome reviews. **Pip the Dark Lord of All: ** thank you! I have no chance of replying to every single one of your reviews in one author's note, so I'll do with PMs. **Lily Lindir-Aubrey: ** Those are all really good choices. I'd like to be Boromir too. **LiTori: ** Those are good choices too. Yeah, I'm not a big fan of Arwen either.

Thank you guys, again, for your kindness, and here's the next chapter.

They arrived at Dol-Goldur about sunrise and Cherby set about making pizza.

'I think you guys should probably stay here,' said Khorvec, 'I'll go ahead and check on Khamul. Let me know if those orcs come back.'

Nobody objected and he started alone across the bridge, wrapping his cloak around him.

Dol-Goldur was large and it was quite a while before Khorvec reached the main courtyard. When he did, he was not prepared for the sight that met his eyes. The remains of someone's dinner was sitting on a table, several arrows were sticking out of the stones and the ground was trampled as if there had been a fight. There was blood-elf blood by the looks of it. But who had won the fight was hard to tell. If it had been Khamul, he would have thrown the bodies over the side of the cliff, and if it had been the elf, or elves, they would have taken Khamul prisoner. They wouldn't have come here unless they had a reason, and the only reason he could think of would be to capture his friend.

He paced the stones anxiously, considering what could have happened.

He started at a sound and looked around. In a shadowy corner something was cowering behind a barrel, making pitiful noises and growling. He unsheathed his sword and advanced toward it, warily.

'I don't mean any harm,' said the something, suddenly, 'I was just looking for a bite to eat,'

'Get up,' said Khorvec, roughly. The thing obeyed and came into the light. It was a cave troll, slightly bigger than Khorvec, but quite skinny.

'Who are you,' asked Khorvec.

'My name's Gergus,' said the cave troll, 'But most people call me Gerg,'

'How old are you?'

'Sixty years,'

Khorvec considered for a moment. Sixty years was rather old for a cave troll, yet this one was only the size of a child. Or rather, a young cave troll.

'Are you naturally small?'

'Yes,'

'Do you know what happened here?'

'Some elves came and captured the Nazgul that used to live here,'

Khorvec boiled with rage. They had captured his friend and probably subjected the rider to torture, however, they had readily waved their handkerchiefs to Khorvec and sent him off as quickly as possible. They should have been able to guess why he had come to Mirkwood. But they had kicked him out without so much as an inquiry after where he was going. He began to stomp off, determined to get revenge on the wood elves, but he was stopped by Gergus.

'Where are you going?'

'To find my friend,' snapped Khorvec.

'May I please come with you?'

Khorvec looked at him. He wouldn't take much to feed and they needed someone strong in their group.

'All right,' he said, 'Hurry up,'

With a roar of delight the troll ran to collect his things.

'When is Khorvec going to get back?' asked Gawlyi, for the seventeenth time.

'Be quiet,' said Arithil, 'It's not like I care,'

'You should care,' said Barik, 'Because if he doesn't get back, you and I have nowhere to go.'

'Don't remind me,' groaned Arithil. Gawlyi looked smug.

'This pizza is delicious,' said Veagle, who had not ceased fawning over Cherby since he had entered their group, 'Too bad Khorvec's missing this.'

Gawlyi promptly wrapped up a piece of pizza for his friend. Just then, they heard several orcish screams.

'Everyone hide,' yelled Barik.

'Oh dear,' said Gawlyi, running for cover, 'I hope Khorvec doesn't come back any time soon.' The others found trees or bushes to hide behind and drew their weapons. Gawlyi had lost his club somewhere along the way, but he just broke off a branch from the tree he was standing in. Cherby placed a small stone in the crook of his sling shot and held it in firing position. Arithil pulled out his knives and Barik drew his bow. Veagle growled threateningly.

'Now everybody remember,' said Barik, 'Don't attack unless the foul creatures find us.' Everybody nodded and waited in suspense. In a moment, the orcs were visible, sadly diminished, but still quite plentiful. Veagle tensed visibly, and Cherby put his hand on her head.

It wasn't long before the orcs were close enough to understand. They were speaking black speech, but Khorvec's companions all knew enough of the language to figure out what the 'foul creatures' meant.

'I saw them over 'ere,' said one of the orcs, excitedly.

'All roight, mate,' said the leader, 'Everyone start searching,'

The orcs obediently began to beat the bushes and probe the trees. The fugitives crouched in anxious fear, expecting any minute to be discovered. Then suddenly, Arithil leapt up, waving his arms and yelling to attract attention. Then he turned and started running through the forest, towards the edge of Mirkwood. The orcs followed him, screaming, until all the orcs were chasing him and had left his companions behind. His said companions stood up and gazed after him helplessly. Barik began to sniff.

'Oh, come on,' said Gawlyi, 'He wasn't all that great of a friend,' but he said it for no other motive than to hide his own grief. Veagle looked like she had been turned to stone. She just stood and stared after him as if she couldn't believe what she had just seen. Even Cherby looked a little distressed. He knew what sort of things orcs did to their prisoners.

'Well,' he said with forced cheerfulness, 'We can always hope that he'll die before they get him.' Barik didn't look comforted and sat down on a nearby rock. Gawlyi began to pick up their belongings.

'We should probably stay in the trees until Khorvec comes,' he said. The others followed him up a tall pine and reclined in various disturbed attitudes among the branches. They could soon see Khorvec hurrying across the bridge towards them. He had heard the orcs and was worried for his friends but they called out to him and he ran to them, relieved.

'Are you all right?' he called up through the branches.

'Yes,' said Gawlyi, and he descended the tree, as did the others.

'We lost Arithil,' said Barik, struggling to compose himself.

'What?' Khorvec shouted.

Gawlyi explained quickly, ending with a,

'...but he was useless anyway,'

Khorvec gave a moan and leaned against the tree trunk, getting pine sap all over his cloak. For once, he didn't immediately stand back up and pick it off.

'How long has he been gone?' he faltered.

'About fifteen minutes,' said Unith, who had suddenly regained her speech, 'There's no chance of retrieving him from so many,'

They all fell silent, mourning the loss of their friend, until suddenly Cherbok spoke up.

'What's that?' he asked, pointing towards the bridge. There was something running across it, looking as if it, the thing, would fall of at any moment. Khorvec looked up and managed a weak smile.

'It's a replacement,' he said, as the thing came stamping up to them, 'Meet Gergus, a cave troll,'

Meanwhile, Arithil was still running away from the orcs. He wasn't exactly sure why he had decided to save his friends, but he had been thinking it through as he ran, and he had come to a conclusion. He knew Gawlyi and Cherby hated him. Unith was indifferent and Khorvec only needed him for a guide. But Barik knew the forest almost as well as Arithil did and could easily guide the black rider. The only person who would miss him was Barik. Barik and he had always been sort of friends, as they shared the humility of being small, but Arithil had decided to stay no longer where only one person wanted him. He knew he would miss the bowman, that is, if he survived, but he could find a new life somewhere else. He didn't have much hope of surviving. Not that he wouldn't try, but he wasn't desperate to continue his life. He was a good runner but some of the orcs were faster and they might catch him before they tired. Besides, he faced another danger. The orcs were also good marksmen, and were shooting arrows at him.

He ran on, thinking despairing thoughts and expecting any moment to be struck dead by an arrow. And then he realized something. Actually several things. The first was that he was coming to the edge of the wood, and fast. The second was that it was the same edge they had come to with a sheer cliff. The third was that he couldn't turn back without running straight into the orcs and the fourth, that if he decided to commit suicide by jumping off the cliff, half the orcs would follow him to a grave below. Somehow he had too much pity to do this and he paused momentarily in his running to decide. Then he realized another something. The orcs couldn't climb trees. He promptly jumped onto a branch and began climbing as high as he could. The orcs stopped beneath him and began shooting into the branches but the arrows couldn't fly very high up and the orcs soon left off because they were getting hit with the arrows that came back down.

Arithil chuckled at his good luck and began climbing from tree to tree, working his way towards the other end of the forest. He had put a great deal of distance between himself and the orcs (who thought he was still in the tree he had first ascended) when suddenly, something hit him on the head and he fell to the ground, unconscious.

I know, that was really sentimental. And the orcs aren't that bright. Oh well, please review!

Question of the day: What's your favorite 'one does not simply' parody?


	9. Does anyone care?

Chapter IX: Memory and Disregard

A/N: Hi guys! Thanks for all the reviews! **LiTori: **I like that one about calculus. :) Here you go! **Pip the Dark Lord of All: **I've seen that one. It's pretty good. :) **ccgaylord: **Thanks for all your awesome reviews. Being a Boromir fan, I absolutely love that meme! **Lily Lindsey-Aubrey: **Wow, you guys are so good at finding awesome memes! Yay! *does silly little dance* I succeeded at making Khorvec cute! I tried really hard.

Sorry I took so long this time. But here you go. Presenting...

The next chapter.

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><p>Arithil was unconscious for a very long time. When he woke up, it was dawn and the sun was creeping over the horizon. He couldn't focus very well, and his head was pounding but he sat up painfully and looked around. Nearby, someone had kindled a fire and the smell of frying fish wafted compassionately towards him. It soothed his aching temples and he leant against a tree, trying to calm his nerves. He wasn't bound, so that probably meant he hadn't been captured by orcs, but it could have been spiders, and if so, his life would be cut off as soon as they got back. But it wasn't like spiders to knock you on the head, much less, wait until you woke up to eat you.<p>

He heard a humming sound and looked around. A very short little man was entering the clearing, a bundle of firewood in his arms - at least, he looked like a man, his face was so mature, but he was clean-shaven and too small for even a dwarf. He didn't notice that Arithil was awake and hummed a cheerful tune as he fed the fire. He slapped the fish onto two plates that he pulled out of his knapsack and put a kettle on to boil. Then he wet a washcloth with cold water and made his way over to Arithil.

'Hello, there,' said the man, grinning broadly and using a Welsh accent, 'Did you sleep well?' He chuckled. 'You'll have had to, with such a crack on the head.' There was now no mistaking that he was an adult, perhaps a young adult, but still an adult. 'I suppose you'll be needing breakfast?' he continued.

Arithil said that he was hungry and, after placing the washcloth on Arithil's aching forehead, the man went and brought him one of the plates.

'Who are you?' asked Arithil, between bites, for he really was ravenously hungry.

'Serbadok Bracegirdle (or Dokky), hobbit of the Shire,' returned his comrade with a dramatic bow, with which the ends of his curls almost touched the ground.

'You are a halfling,' Arithil told him.

'Well,' said the other, 'More like a quarterling.' He grinned again, and Arithil smiled faintly. He knew Barik would have groaned.

'What are you doing out here?' he asked.

'I was banished,' said Serbadok, simply, as he poured out a cup of tea. Arithil almost snorted.

'Welcome to the club,' he said.

'Are there more of you,' asked the hobbit. Arithil hesitated.

'I meant the club I used to belong to,' he said, carefully.

'Oh,' said Serbadok. He poured out another cup of tea and handed it to the elf.

'Thank you,' said Arithil, then to change the subject, 'Why were you banished?'

Serbadok sighed and sat down.

'Got time for a long story?' he asked.

'Sure,'

'Alright then. Here we go.

'My life was a train wreck. My mother was dead, my father had left me and I had practically no relatives. I should have ended it right there, I guess, but, to tell the truth, my life seemed to be daring me to live it out.' He sighed again. 'I started stealing for a living. It wasn't difficult and soon I grew so accomplished that I started taking contracts from other people. Once I worked for Lobelia Sackville,' he added, proudly, but seeing that Arithil had no idea who that was, he quickly continued. 'I got more and more elaborate, until it was inevitable that I would be caught.' He sipped his tea, as if trying to wash away the taste of bad memories, and sighed once more. 'And that was that.' He set down his tea cup and began to clean the frying pan. Arithil watched him thoughtfully.

'Did you hit me on the head last night?' he asked. Serbadok chuckled and nodded.

'Thanks,' said Arithil, rubbing his head gingerly.

'It was for your own good,' he said, 'You forget that spiders are attracted by the sound of orcs, and that they travel in trees. If I'd left you alone, they would have gotten you.'

'What happened to the orcs?'

'They decided that waiting for one elf to come out of a tree wasn't worth it. I must say though, that I was rather afraid I'd hit too hard at first. You were so still.'

'Why didn't you just tell me to get out of there?'

'I'd had a bad day,' retorted Dokky, 'I don't think I could have stood talking to an elf at that point. Oh, and I should warn you. I'm rather elf-intolerant.'

Arithil smiled.

'I'm no ordinary elf,' he said, 'Why don't we stick together?'

Serbadok looked at him through narrowed eyes and seemed to be summing him up.

'Oh, all right,' he said, 'No stating obvious things, no doing fancy Elvin flips, no primping every morning, and absolutely no fixing your hair. You'll have to cut it.'

'Do you have any scissors?' asked Arithil, meekly. Dokky fished them out of his knapsack and quickly cut the elf's hair. When he finished, he surveyed his work and nodded satisfactorily.

'Much better,' he said, 'Let's get going.'

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><p>'How much further is it?' asked Gerg.<p>

'I'm not sure,' said Khorvec, 'Barik, how much further to the halls of the elf king?'

'We're going back there?' gasped Barik, horrified, 'Are you mad?'

'We've got to find my friend,' said Khorvec, determinedly. Barik looked doubtful but told the Nazgul the distance anyway. He wished Arithil was there. Arithil was good at persuading people. He sighed at the memory of his friend and fell into a reverie. Arithil had been the only elf to stick up for him, except Elladan, and what had come of it? The poor elf had been ridiculed and laughed at. Vicously, Barik pulled his knapsack further up on his back and trudged on, oblivious to his surroundings. He started when Khorvec spoke to him an hour later.

'Yes,' he said.

'We'll camp here for the night,' said Khorvec, 'I want you to go hunt a deer for us.'

'All right,' said Barik, and he set off. Khorvec sighed as he saw the bowman go. Now he was the only man left to protect the others. He turned resolutely to the task of building a fire and looked around for some kindling. He hated making fires. For one, he was afraid of them and for two, he could never get them to light. But he spent less time than usual on it and it only took him an hour. He looked up happily.

'I broke my record,' he thought, cheerfully. Then he sighed. Arithil had been very good at making fires. Khorvec hadn't realized before how much he had begun to like the elf, but now, he really missed him. He knew the others did too. Even Gawlyi had said at one point during the day, that he wished Arithil was there. They all missed his blunt manner and lively action. He had been a little annoying, true, but that was just because he was an elf. Khorvec sighed again and looked up.

Barik stumbled into camp with a doe on his back and Khorvec leapt up to prepare dinner. Cooking gave his mind something else to think about.

Cherby had put his pizza making supplies away in his bag, complaining that he was too tired to make pizza. He was too tired to do anything anymore. In the short time that he had known Arithil, he had become very fond of the elf, and now he lay, just thinking about his friend. Arithil had been very appreciative of his pizza and Cherby was too conscious to be ignorant of the compliment.

Veagle was disturbed because she had never before met an elf who wouldn't kill her, and she felt kindly towards Arithil because he hadn't.

Gawlyi was sad because without Arithil, he had no one to fight with, for Barik wouldn't deign to, Khorvec had no idea how, Cherby was too good-natured, Veagle ignored him altogether, and Gergus never realized that Gawlyi was trying to.

Gergus was the only one who didn't care about the elf. He hadn't known Arithil at all, or they would have become very fast friends, for Gergus was rather dense, and would have appreciated Arithil telling him what was going on.

It was in melancholy silence that they ate their dinner, it was in half-hearted conversation that they cleaned up from it. Barik tried to sing 'The Best of Elves' but broke down in the middle and they continued their journey quiet and sad.

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><p>Dokky was not an experienced barber, and you can imagine that Arithil looked quite strange with his hair cut just above the shoulders. The truth is that he looked even more like a girl with a bob, then he had with waist-length hair. Dokky, to be sure, was proud of his masterpiece and kindly offered to let Arithil look in his hand-held mirror, but Arithil's sense of taste cringed at the suggestion. He would much rather be ignorant of how bad he looked than suffer through the sight of his hair in a bob.<p>

They were now traipsing through the forest, picking mushrooms and digging roots for their next meal. Dokky knew a great deal about edible plants. Apparently, he had lived in the wild for a long time, and had learned from experience.

Most of the day, they just dodged packs of orcs and avoided spider webs. Dokky said that he liked that sort of life. You don't do any work except to find your food, yet there was enough danger to make it interesting. Arithil found that his new friend was even better at throwing knives, and that the hobbit's eyesight was almost as good as his own. They never lacked food, for Mirkwood was full of it and if they had leftovers, they gave it to the spiders. Arithil didn't have much thought for the friends he had left behind. He missed Barik and Khorvec, and he even had slight feelings for Veagle, but he had a new friend, and there was always something that drove them out of his mind.

And so the days passed, Khorvec and his company drawing closer and closer to their goal, and Arithil drifting, in thought, farther and farther away.

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><p>There ya go. Quiz of the day. What is Pippin's best moment in the movie of LOTR?<p>

Please review!


	10. I lived to die, now I will die to live

A/N: Hi guys! Sorry I took so long this time. **Pip the Dark Lord of All: **Interesting thought. Though I'm not too fond of Faramir. :P **Lily Lindsey-Aubrey: **Yes, he is really awesome. I like it when he sings to Denethor too. Mainly cause it has lots of Faramir suffering. **LiTori: **That is one of his good moments. But he's a very skinny hobbit. Next to Sam, at any rate. **ccgaylord: **I'll probably need counselling by the time I'm done writing this. But then I've always needed it. it sounds like Pippin's great all the time. :) **MMiladinova: **Thank you! Yes, I know about that. XD But I still think that it was a really awesome idea. As for me, I think that Pippin's best moment was when the firework went off and he screamed. XD It makes me die whenever I hear it. :)

Thank you guys for lifting my ego, and here's the next chapter.

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><p>Chapter X: Hope Found and Lost<p>

Elladan and Legolas were reclining lazily in the branches of a tall oak tree. Legolas had just finished telling his friend of his latest adventure with Aragorn, and now they were listless, trying to think of what to do next. Suddenly Elladan held up a finger.

'Legolas,' he said, 'You never showed me your tightrope act,'

'You're right,' said Legolas, trying to look less excited about it than he really was, 'I'll do it for you now, if you want.'

Elladan said that he did and Legolas proceeded to walk across a rope that was strung between two trees.

'That's nothing,' scoffed Elladan, and ran across.

'That's the best you can do?' laughed Legolas, and he turned cartwheels all along the wire.

'You think that's something!' cried Elladan and he did a series of Elvin flips, from one tree to the other.

'Watch this,' shouted Legolas. He shot a cluster of arrows into the air.

'What's that supposed to do?' asked Elladan.

'My act isn't finished yet,' said Legolas, condescendingly. He then began jumping from one arrow to the next, doing Elvin flips in between. He had just reached the second to last arrow when his hands slipped and he fell to the ground. Above, Elladan burst into peals of laughter.

'Get down here and help me,' said Legolas, crossly. He was laying with one sleeve of his robe caught on a branch and one leg wedged between two tree trunks. Elladan stifled his mirth and jumped down to help his friend. Then he brushed the leaves and dirt out of the prince's hair and robe.

'Show off,' he said. This did not improve Legolas' temper, but before he could kill Elladan, an arrow whistled by his ear and pinned his hair to the tree. A Nazgul emerged from the shadows, followed by Barik and several others. Arithil wasn't there. Thank goodness.

'What do you want?' he asked.

'We merely wish to speak to your father,' said the Nazgul. He was brandishing a sword, and he didn't sound very happy.

'Very well,' said Legolas, knowing it was useless to argue. He headed for the halls with Elladan and the Nazgul in tow, but the others stayed behind.

'Now what?' asked Gergus. Barik shrugged.

'Khorvec told us to stay here,' he said. Gawlyi scowled at him.

'Sometimes I think you stayed with the elves a little longer than was good for you,' he said, 'We all knew what Khorvec told us.'

Cherby sat down and clasped his hands in his lap. He was good at waiting, and could sit in one place for hours at a time. Barik followed his example and started a conversation with Gerg.

'Have you ever met an Elf before?' asked Barik of Gerg.

'Once,' returned Gergus, 'They strike me as very unfriendly creatures.'

'They are,' said Barik, 'I've only met two elves who weren't unfriendly,'

'Who?' asked Gawlyi.

'Arithil and Elladan,' said Barik, unashamedly. Surprisingly, for Barik, Gawlyi didn't laugh. He sighed instead.

'What happened to this "Arithil" you guys are always talking about?' asked the cave troll.

'He died,' said Gawlyi, flatly.

'We don't know that,' said Veagle, the optimist.

'Well,' said Cherby, bluntly, 'I'm hoping he did. If he didn't, he's probably undergoing serious torture right now.'

Veagle pinched him and nodded towards Barik, who was sniffing. Cherby was silent.

'What are you going to do when you die?' asked Gergus.

'Die.' answered Gawlyi, looking confused.

'But I mean, are you going to do anything special, like kill yourself, or take all your loved ones with you, or something?'

Barik looked surprised.

'I think I'd like to shoot myself, and have it over with,' he said.

'Not me,' said Gawlyi, 'I'm going to kill myself slowly and painfully, so all the other orcs will admire me.'

'It depends,' said Cherby, 'If I have to die, I want it not to come for awhile, but if I get sick I want it to be over fast.'

'I'm not going to die,' said Veagle, 'I'm going to live for ever and ever.'

Gergus laughed.

'That's impossible,' he said, 'But I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to say some famous last words.'

'Do you know what they're going to be?' asked Cherby, rather interested by such an inspirational method. Gerg nodded proudly. Then he lay down on the ground and put on a dying face.

'I lived to die,' he moaned, pathetically, and the others burst into roars of laughter, 'And now I will die to live,' he continued with a gasp.

'What is that supposed to mean?' cried Gawlyi, between the laughs that wracked his body. Gerg shrugged.

'I'm not really sure,' he said, 'But it's really awesome when you think about it, and I'm not dying till I've said it.'

Suddenly, Barik stopped laughing and drew his bow.

'What was that?' he demanded. The others had heard nothing but pulled out their weapons anyway, and formed a circle to defend themselves.

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><p>Khorvec followed the two elves across a bridge and into Thranduil's halls. He looked around for his friend, but apparently the black rider was locked up somewhere, for Khorvec didn't see him. He was again escorted into the presence of the king, but this time, he bowed. He felt that if his friend was to be freed, charm would be the best tactic.<p>

'Most noble Thranduil,' he said, 'It has come to my attention that you have imprisoned my friend, another Nazgul. I demand therefore that you free him.'

'And have Galadriel after me?' asked Thranduil, 'Not if I can help it,'

'I will pay you,' said Khorvec and he emptied a bag of gold onto the floor. Thranduil's eyes glimmered greedily, but his fear of Galadriel got the better of him and he shook his head. He had already told her that he had a Nazgul, and she was coming tomorrow to question the fiend. He could not afford to give his prisoner away just now.

'Be gone,' he said, 'Before I lock you up, too.'

Khorvec hurriedly exited and stood in a bewildered frame of mind outside the door. He had convinced himself that Thranduil would let Khamul go, but now he had no idea what to do.

He heard a sound and turned to see Elladan beckoning, mysteriously. He followed curiously and found Lord Elrond's son and Legolas behind a bush.

'Well,' he said.

'We'll help you,' said Elladan, quietly, 'But no one must know it was us,'

'All right,' said Khorvec, delighted.

'And you must give us all that money,' added Legolas, glancing around, furtively.

'Okay,' said Khorvec.

'Here's our plan,' said Elladan, 'I'll distract the guards, while Legolas gets the keys. Once your friend is free, you've got to get him out of here as fast as possible. No one must know what's going on until you're far away. Understand?'

Khorvec nodded. The plan was simple enough, it was getting Khamul out of the actual city that would be difficult. Who wouldn't get suspicious at two cloaked figures running around? But he pushed doubts away and hurried to let his companions know of the good news.

He knew exactly where he had left them, and it didn't take long to get there, but he was surprised to find that they were nowhere in sight. There had obviously been a fight, but with whom? He bent down and examined the marks, but stood up again mystified. Mirkwood elves would have carried his friends off in the trees, not dragged them along the ground, and spiders surrounded their enemy, rather then charged it in a line.

He supposed the only thing to do was follow the tracks. This was not difficult, for whoever had attacked had been a large company, and the grass was trampled considerably. The thought struck him that it could have been orcs, but he saw something in the grass and picked it up. It was an Elvin dagger. He stood puzzling over it for a moment, then began tracking his friends.

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><p>Gergus, Barik, Unith, Cherbok, and Gawlyi were forced, struggling, into separate cells, and locked up. The elf with a bow and red cape then nodded and tramped up the stairs. Above, he met lady Galadriel and bowed.<p>

'They are secure, my lady,' he said.

'Thank you, Haldir,' said the Lady of Lothlorien, 'Come, we must see Thranduil now.' She sailed away, Haldir but a foot behind.

Beneath, Barik burst into wails of despair.

'We're doomed,' he cried, 'When Thranduil finds out I'm here, he'll kill me!'

'You could shoot yourself,' said Gergus, helpfully.

None of the others even pretended that they hadn't heard him. All their weapons had been taken.

'If you die,' said Unith, 'We'll all die, for when you're exterminated, there's nothing to stop our extinction.'

'Would that I could die,' came a voice from a nearby cell, 'That I need not suffer through torment so unbearable.'

'Who are you?' asked Cherby, climbing up the bars of his cell door and trying to get a glimpse of the speaker.

'I am Khamul, son of Bobul, Nazgul of Mordor,' came the breathy voice. Suddenly the prison was filled with shrieks and screams.

'It's him!' shouted Gawlyi.

'Where's Khorvec!' cried Barik, desperately, 'He's got to know you're here!'

Someone fell down and went unconscious (no one knew who because they couldn't see into each other's cells). Only Unith managed to keep slightly calm.

'Guys, quiet,' said she, beating on her cell door for silence, 'We must keep our heads. Khorvec has probably seen the king by now, and we'll get out soon. Hopefully.'

'Khorvec's here?' asked Khamul, suddenly cheerful, 'And you guys know him?'

'Yep,' said Unith, confidently, 'Everything's going to be just fine.'

'Hopefully,' added Cherby. So it had been Gergus who fainted. Strange. He didn't seem as weak as that.

* * *

><p>Khorvec was getting more and more puzzled as he went further along the trail. It was heading straight for the king's halls, and yet, he was sure it was not Mirkwood elves. The tracks were made by horses, and the elves of Eryn Lasgalen only rode horses when leaving Mirkwood. Of course, they could be returning from a journey. He hurried on, certain that his friends were in danger.<p>

Legolas tried to creep unobtrusively to the door of the prison. He hoped that Elladan had succeeded in distracting the guards by now, and that he wouldn't have trouble getting the keys, but he did not often free his father's prisoners and he was extremely jumpy. He took a deep breath and began descending the stairs, making as little noise as possible. He knew where the keys were kept, so that didn't offer a problem, but if Elladan hadn't succeeded, he was dead. He opened the door to the guard room and peered around. Good, the guards were nowhere in sight. He quickly ran towards cell A and fumbled with the lock.

'Is that Khorvec?' asked several hopeful voices.

'How many Nazguls have you got in there?' asked Legolas, puzzled.

'There's only one of me,' said Khamul, coming into the light, 'But who are you, and why are you freeing me?'

'Where's Khorvec?' asked another voice, from cell D, and

'What have you done with him?' came from cell F.

'Hey,' said Legolas, rather irritated by now, 'He only said he had one friend in here, not fifteen!'

'There's only six of us,' said someone from cell B, 'Where's Khorvec?'

'Sshhh,' said the person in cell E, 'Someone's coming.' They were all alerted suddenly by the sound of guards tramping down the stairs. Desperately, Legolas lunged for cover under the table, but judged his aim wrong and dove into the side of it, instead. Food, dishes, and candles flew everywhere and the door burst open.

I think the sight of Legolas sitting amid the ruins of a dinner, with his immaculate hair all static-y and disheveled is enough to give anyone a heart-attack. The first guard to appear on the scene fainted dead away and the second screamed a very un-manly scream. Legolas jumped up with amazing agility and ran through the door before either could stop him. The captives he left behind sighed in despair.

* * *

><p>There! Question: Who's death in The Lord of the Rings was the most epic? It could even be their non-death, e.g. someone thinks they're dead but they're not. Please review!<p> 


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